Staring on MTV...

My life right now would make an amazing reality show.

Like no joke, they could market this stuff on MTV in America ANDDD Japan. I could air after the show “I’m spoiled and will cry when my parents give me the BMW 700 series instead of the BMW 923” Uh, yes I did just make that up. But sounds about right, right?

I’m pretty sure both cultures would find it hilarious for the things that happen to me. My blunders and fumbles through trying to speak Japanese…. Then of course, the things that happen at school are way too ridiculous to believe. Enter, camera crew.

A teacher hands me a BINGO card and asks me to say the words out loud. She proceeds to spell the words, letter- by- letter. Keep in mind; she makes these BINGO cards, so she is spelling her own words incorrectly.

              Examples: Me- “remember”

                            Her- “R-e-m-b-e-r”

                            Me- “foreign”

                            Her- “f-o-r-i-n”

                            Me- “bored”

                            Her- “b-o-r-d”

                            Me- “forecast”

                            Her- “f-o-r-c-a-t-z”

Oh right, and this is the teacher who SINGS everything so all this awful spelling is accompanied by a voice that would make Giselle from Enchanted burst into little blue songbirds.

Then, of course, there is the elementary school where one particular teacher has her students say “Thank you we teaching. Times. Fun today” at the end of every class. I just really don’t have it in me to correct her. That, and she interrupts everything I say…

Anddd then there is my archnemesis. Who could use her own reality show, if I do say so myself. My latest trick has been hiding out in the meeting room to do my own thing (usually writing up lesson plans). This has started to become a catch-22. They have started to turn the air conditioning on, but ONLY in the teacher’s room. SO, I can escape the torment of my archnemesis (who still like to stay close enough so we breathe the same oxygen), but slowly boil in the process.

Japan is turing into a giant crock pot, and we cook a little more every day. Yeah, the heat sucks but the way I see it, all I really have to do is stand around and endure the heat. I don’t have to cheer, jump, stunt, and tumble in this miserable heat (like I have for many many summers) all while looking professional and happy. It’s one of the easier summer jobs I’ve had.

So all we need is a name (of my reality tv show). And a contract with MTV.