Monday, November 7, 2011


I'm not an easy person to love. I'm argumentative, I'm stubborn, I'm impatient beyond belief. I am always right.I get extremely grumpy if hungry or tired. Both is a lethal combination. I can be the biggest brat you've ever met.

December 2008, "perfect date" at SeaWorld

The amount of stress that has been going on has turned me into a monster. Work gets the best of me (the professional, put-together, composed part)... and recently John has gotten the worst of me. The stressed out, over worked, underfed, grumpy, exhausted me who whines and cries.
June 2009, UC Davis graduation

Sounds like real fun right? He has been such trooper. In the calmer moments... after I have some food and rest, and before the storm starts again, I realize just how lucky I am.
August 2010, dancing on my birthday in Davis

Dear John,
Thank you for being the better half to my madness. Thank you for staying calm when I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Thank you for not batting an eye when I get emotional or stressed or irrationally upset. Thank you for standing by me for the past three years, through various moves, career changes, and all the craziness that I throw at you. Every day, it amazes me that you are willing to put up with me... and that you love me for it.

I know you hate it when I post gushy stuff like this... so I'll stop here (for everyone's sake).

July 2011, my grandparents' 50th anniversary
Happy 3 years babe. I love you.

PS. CONGRATULATIONS  on completing your internship!!! I am ridiculously proud of you. You have definitely made a difference in so many peoples lives, whether it has been saving their life or distracting a four year old from a mean guy with an IV or just being a therapist. The crazy hours, the never-ending shifts, and hard work has finally come to an end. You are supa bad ass and I hope to be half as cool as you someday :) We shall fest on pffffff chang's tonight to celebrate!!!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Truth or Consequence, Say it aloud

It started back in August. Two of our good friends made plans to go to the Foo Fighters concert, happening on a WEEK NIGHT.

Absolutely not. I work at 6am, John's schedule varies on a weekly basis. We shrugged it off but as the Taylor concert came and passed, John yearned for an epic concert experience of his own. Apparently, he has NEVER been to a concert that he really wanted to go to.

Somehow... the concert ticket prices dropped significantly. I no longer had work at 6am. John has the day off. LET'S DO IT, I shouted into the phone.

Thanks to John for such an awesome pic
We joined up with the originators of this glorious plan (what up, Heidi and Atique), got with our other friend Austin (responsible for introducing us three years ago), and pre-partied it up. Burgers, brews, a chilling walk across the street to the arena and BAM! Foo Fighters concert, here we go.
Taken off an ANDROID phone. The quality is unreal, right?

Because we are freaking NINJAS, Austin, John, and I went from having upper level tickets to GROUND LEVEL tickets. Baller.
Blurry. But HEY! We're now "general admission". Holllaaaa
I've never been to a rock concert before... Don't judge. It was loud. Not.... volume at max leveland sing at the top of your lungs in your car loud... but IT FEELS LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK loud. Wow, if that doesn't make me sound like an old lady...

What I mean is, the sound that emanated was all consuming. It felt like every fiber in my being (including the blood flowing through my veins) shook with the bass.

It. was. EPIC.

For the following two days, I was partially deaf. I spoke at an unnecessarily loud decibel. People got annoyed. 

The only decent group picture
I sang along with the songs that I knew (yep, all five of them). I jumped and nodded along with the ones I didn't.We all dodged the smokers and the people spilling beer on the floor.

I was the biggest n00b in the group. I was happy to be there nonetheless
I like concerts, even if I only know a couple of the band's songs. My favorite part? Where the singer will hold out the microphone for the crowd to sing. And the crowd sings the lyrics on the top of their lungs. What an amazing feeling, to look around and hear YOUR WORDS being sung back to you by a million different strangers. I LOVE IT.

We were this close. Seriously.
Awesome night, fantastic memories all around. Except when Dave Grohl screamed "HEEEYYEEEH!!!" at an ungodly pitch into the microphone. Five times in a row. That's when my left ear drummed trembled and threatened to explode in my ear.

We literally live RIGHT ACROSS from Arco Arena. More concerts. let's do itttt.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Quest

Well, if you haven’t caught on- I’ve apparently slowed down to posting on Fridays. If you can believe it, I have THREE jobs right now. I know it sounds impressive, but I’m really only working two. More on that later.

I have a slight food obsession. I can’t tell you exactly when or how it happened (of course, I have the natural tendency to blame my parents. More precisely, my father- the chief chef), but my love affair with food has been a constant in my life.

John likes to tease me about it. The hours spent hovering over the pantry, lost time with the open fridge and freezer door are now referred to my “quest for food”. Yep, he gets a lot of enjoyment out of calling it that. I lie in bed, fantasizing about warm fluffy bread dipped in egg batter and grilled to golden perfection. Topped with a smothering of powdered sugar and maple syrup= heaven. Yes, I expect there to be an endless supply of fresh french toast in heaven. It’s seriously amazing that I am not morbidly obese.

And don’t even think about crossing me when I am hungry. I regress to a two-year old, whining and complaining that my stomach is ACTUALLY eating itself, I am so dramatic. And so soooooo attractive.

But all that is about to change- the “quest” has been put on hold, and I am currently taking scrounging lessons from the King of Scrounging himself. You give that kid ketchup, he can make a meal out of anything (I’ve seen it). Grilled cheese is the current staple of our lives… breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight snacks. I’ve been content so far.

We’ve been having a lot of life changes recently, cutting back on food expenses being one of the many. But one of my best girlfriends (we called eachother “sister” in high school) taught me to always remember what you DO have. Focus on the happiness in your life, the rest of the stuff will seem smaller.

I am so thankful to all my friends who keep up with me on this blog- especially those who contact me with words of encouragement. I can count at least five faithful readers, (while some of them are surprising- oh the wonders of facebook) I am SO grateful for your support and love.

No matter what you are up to this weekend, I hope it is full of happiness and people who make you joyful. 

Shelby- sweetest dog of my life. Impossible to be unhappy with her around.
Thanks for the loan, Chris :)

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Guide to crying

A while ago, there was a talk radio topic that stirred both the djs and listeners alike. Is it acceptable for a man to cry? Let's say you're on a first date... it's a sad movie... and your date starts weeping next to you. Yay or nay?

I claim awkward. No. Not acceptable.

I know, I know. 2007 me is shaking my head in shame. But really. On a first date?!?

If you ask me, there are only 4 times it is acceptable for a man to cry

  1. Getting kicked in the groin. No man seems to be able to explain this feeling... but I have seen men cry over being kicked in the crotch. Does not look or sound fun. A few tears are acceptable.
  2. Funerals. 
  3. YOUR own wedding. 
  4. Very specific extenuating circumstances... likeeee you got laid off from your job, have six kids to feed, and your house is going to be repossessed. Or they just discontinued your all time favorite ice cream flavor. Or you're fasting and sit through a very depressing story of a sea lion dying from pollution. 
Ok, but in all seriousness. I do think it is okay to cry... just as long as the man doesn't cry more than I do.  I want to know that my man can be strong for me when I can't. And crying on a first date gives off a very "I'm more emotional than you" kind of vibe. And I don't know any woman who wants a man who is more emotional than them. At least we have the excuse of estrogen.

Crying in movies: Ok. But only if it's a super sad movie, I'm blubbering and sobbing like the Hoover Dam breaking.

My roommate's rule of thumb for men crying? Acceptable at one specific occasion:
"The funeral of your wife or child. NO EXCEPTIONS"
I then read him my list. And he scoffed at it.

To be fair, I think the rule goes both ways... Women should not cry on a first date. Besides, that's totally going to mess up your make-up and make you look like you have ecchymosis. Nott super cute.
Although this raccoon is super cute

Alright. I feel like I've been moving at 100 miles per minute this week. Hopefully I find some more to blog. ALAS. Thanks for taking the time to read. Have a great weekend y'all.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Last Friday Night

Ok. Not really "Last friday night". But I refuse to put the other song referencing Friday on my blog. You know what I'm talking about. If you don't... type in "Friday" to youtube and see what comes up... yeahhhhh.

It's feeling like a random post kind of day.

"Failing is just proof that you are trying"

As someone who feels like I've been failing EXTRA hard this week, I love this quote. Maybe you've been having a rough week too? TGIF.
How great is this pillow??!? I want this pillow. As an admitted Facebook stalker, this pillow just speaks to me (ew, ok that sounded way more douchey than I ever want to sound in my life). Plus, I love having LOTS pillows. But if facebook isn't you're thing, there are a ton of other creative pillows here that I geeked out on. 

Anddd lastly. The reason why you are all here. The truth about how the zombie apocalypse starts...
Bravo Toshiba. Bravo. 

Apparently I will be the second one infected... 

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Shark attack or attack sharks?

Ok. We've all seen the movie Jaws right? My brother and I woke up before my parents one morning (I will always remember this). We turned the tv down low, got some cereal and milk and ate right. in front. of the TV. Thus breaking three rules:
  1. no TV without parental approval
  2. no eating with the TV on
  3. absolutely NO eating in the living room
It was a glorious morning. After fighting over cartoons, we finally agreed on some movie with the beach and the ocean (yay! I thought, little mermaids and dolphins!!) and some awesomely adult sounding music. We made it through Jaws and half of Jaws 2 frozen to the couch, too terrified to move and/or change the channel. It was my dad who saved us, turning OFF the TV, gently scolding us for breaking all three of the above rules, and cleaning up the mountains of cereal while simultaneously trying to calm us down.

Everything involving water was terrifying. Baths, pools, and definitely the ocean. You never know, one of those sharks could just POP out of the drain and eat you in your own tub. Nothing was safe.

And then I grew up, joined the Junior Lifeguard program every summer and learned that shark attacks are rare. And when they do happen, the sharks are usually just confusing the surfers with sea lions. But sharks don't want to attack people. It's not a fun hobby or a favorite pastime, they are just looking for some food (food that is not human flesh).

Which leads me to a story I saw recently. There used to be a video, but I'm having an awfully hard time tracking one down to post

Anyways, here's the story in short: A boy was fishing with his friend, saw a shark. They put out bait for the shark and killed it.

Take what you will from the story, but to me it just seems like a senseless killing. I know the boy justified his action with the fact that "kids learn how to swim here"....... and I don't mean this to sound offensive but aren't there other places for kids to learn how to swim? Maybe like a swimming pool? Maybe somewhere NOT infested with sharks?

Secondly, (this part was in the video) the fisherman have effectively TRAINED the sharks to follow them into the docks. Throwing "bad" fish overboard has essentially created positive reinforcement for the sharks. Come into the docks, get fish. THAT'S WHY THE SHARK WAS THERE. If you don't want sharks around, the answer is pretty simple: stop feeding them

That's how one Georgian (just one, I mean no offense nor to generalize to ALL people from the South) decided to deal with things... and this is how some California surfers decided to deal with a baby GREAT WHITE shark who washed up on shore.

I know the chick's voice in the video is totally annoying, but still a great video
Surfers. Surfers, the commonly "confused" pray of the great whites, saved the shark. Respect the circle of life (sidenote: recently went to go see the movie in theaters and sang all the songs. Out loud. John cried in shame). 


 On a happier note, I am obsessed with the Allstate Mayhem commercials. I think they are hillarioussss. I'll leave you with my favorite.
I'm all... OMG.

Lolz. Have a great Thursday everyone. And guess what?!? TOMORROW IS FRIDAYYYYY. Bazinga.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Photo giveaway!!!

Something peculiar started happening this one week in high school.

Doors were opened for girls.

Senior drama boys would come into classrooms, stating he had a message for Susy Q (whoever the lucky girl was). He then would break out into a Shakespeare sonnet, wink, whisper "Have a great day, Susy". Anddd I would swoon.

Brownies, cookies, chocolates, flowers were delivered to chosen girls with sweet notes, wishing them luck on their exams.

The week was torture for me. WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING?!? And WHY wasn't I involved in any way? Who were these lucky girls that got pampered for a whole week? Of course I (and all the other girls who were not involved in this week of loveee) were green with envy.

Slowly, the facts came about. Chivalry week. The "new" English teacher at our school had paired up each boy in the class to shower one certain girl for an entire week with gentleman-y actions. The girls, in turn, had to do some sort of equivalent for the guys the next week.

All I knew about this new English teacher was that she reallyyyy liked her diet coke (her students had no idea what to think the first day of class), and she then came out with more and more creative and FUN (isn't that supposed to be a foreign word for projects?!?) activities for her class.

Since her time at Tesoro High School, Ms. Nuzman (uh yeah, that is probably how I will always refer to her) has taken her creativity in another direction and has paved the way in lifestyle photography. She started her own business (Kamee June Photography), complete with a consultation aspect in which she will sit down with budding photographers over lunch and pretty much mentor your little brain out. Her work is simple. Beautiful. Full of love. She is among the list of photographers that I like to drool over, and I peruse her blog on a near daily basis.

She has recently paired up with The Rustic Alley to do a super awesome give away. Who DOESN'T want a free photo shoot? A free photo shoot with a fantastic photographer, no less.

Follow the steps here for your own shot at documenting something special.

As for The Rustic Alley, here's a peek at her talent and works. If you have a special place in your heart for antiques, Allison is the gal for you!! She's located in Texas, but totally worth checking out

OK Minions. That's it for today. Yayyyy for mid-week!!! We are HALFWAY to the weekend. Yeahyuhhhh. Have a fantastic day all!

Saturday, October 8, 2011


I’m currently amidst a… career change at the moment [I’ll blog more about it later, I promise]. At these moments, I always find myself being drawn to my original career choice. When I was six, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer. While most kids grow up and their aspirations change from “President of the United States” to “Astronaut” then to something mature and realistic like… “Lawyer”, I clung to my answer of “dolphin trainer”. You have no idea how many times someone laughed in my face. Why are you even going to college?!? Don’t you just need to go to like… clown school or something for that!? (VERBATIM what someone said to me once. How sweet, huh?).I learned to generalize my answer, depending on how well I knew the person, how comfortable I was with them, and if I thought they would laugh at me. I would then give one of three answers 
  1.  “Um, I’m not really sure yet
  2. "I really want to work with animals 
  3. "A dolphin trainer”
Then I went to Hawaii. I wanted to post pictures of me hugging/training dolphins on (very specific) people’s facebook wall with a two word caption: Suck it. 

I swear, in my head, this story was a lot more brief than I am making it out to be. ANYWYAS. My point being, I am on the job hunt again and now being drawn into a career of training. Weird, but there are not a whole lot of dolphins in Sacramento. But do you know what there are a lot of? Dogs. Super cute dogs. Reallyyy fluffy and adorable dogs. I do not have wedding fever or baby fever or whatever fever… but I sure as heck have PUPPY FEVER

I recently did an epically looonnnggg online application to be a dog trainer (it literally took me two hours. They requested the all addresses that I have lived at for the past TEN YEARS. I have lived in two states, two countries, and five different counties in the last ten years. Seriously?). A huge portion was a behavioral test, evaluating my temperament and personality to be a dog trainer.
I can tell you the most important quality to be an animal trainer is… PATIENCE.

NOW. My upstairs neighbors kept me up for an hour last night. The sleepy, grumpy two year old inside of me wanted to thump on ceiling, the confrontational side of me (so many stories about that) wanted to go upstairs, knock on the door and ask them to “step lightly, please”. Anddd then I thought about what a trainer would do. Well I can’t exactly spray someone (a stranger/t-rex, no less) in the face with water (although the satisfaction of doing that is sooo tempting). And since I’m well versed in positive reinforcement, the way to say “No!” to an animal is to give a LRS (Least Reinforcing Stimulus)… Which pretty much means ignore it. Turns out John was right. I hate when that happens. 

Click HERE for an awesome video. Apparently my blog hates certain youtube videos... The video is like 90% accurate. And hilarious. 
I don’t even understand how one person (or even two people) can walk around their apartment that much. It seriously sounds like they are conducting speed walking training up there. How do you just spend HOURS and HOURS just walking around your apartment?!? It NEVER STOPSSS. 

But, alas, I am an eternal optimist. Two good things to come out of this… This is my chance to work on my patience. As Morgan Freeman/God says (in the movie Evan Almighty… don’t you love it when I quote scripture?) “If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?” I’ve been given many opportunities to be patient. Maybe I should actually seize one? 

Second good thing… I am SO much more considerate of how I walk around the apartment now. My calves were actually sore the other day because I was literally tiptoeing around the apartment. 

Now, since I ALWAYS have “FRIENDS” on in the background, I just had to include one of my favorite moments from the show. Again, this blog hates me and I couldn't post the actual youtube clip that I wanted to... but this blooper reel will do.

Have a great weekend minions!! Until next time J  

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Late night musings

The upstairs neighbors. Are driving. Me. INSANE.

Some background for those of you who have not been my roommate: I am a deep sleeper. Likeee reeaallly deep. I have slept through multiple alarms, earthquakes, parties, you name it. Freshman year, I asked my roommate to wake me up if I wasn't up by a certain time. I made a joke that she might have to hit me to wake me up. I woke up to her LITERALLY socking me in the arm. And then she told me she had been punching me in the arm for about five minutes before I stirred. Needless to say, I had a bruise.

So last night, I'm sleeping (duh). And our upstairs neighbors decide start throwing things at their floor. It sounded like 50 lb. dumbbells or boulders or something, but it definitely woke me up. And oh yeah, it's midnight. Now, I wouldn't mind this if we were in college or if it was the weekend, but it is a Tuesday night people. I am not in college anymore, I am a grown up. With a grown up job and a very grown-up work schedule. Being woken up + the fact that they stomp around everywhere in their apartment made it impossible to go back to sleep... So I wound up on facebook (of course) and re-watching shows like Perfect Couples.

[That story was completely unrelated to the main part of my post. Yeahhhh still a bit bitter from last night and I guess I just needed to vent]

So I don't know how everyone else feels, but I hate being hit on. Some people love it, others crumble under the pressure and return smiles because they don't know what else to do, and the really smart people always seem to have the perfect comeback comment... And then there is me. If you watch the first two minutes of this, I am the reallyyy awkward girl. I just don't know what to do with myself. Whaattt? Pshh. No. That's just... weird. Pretty sure those words have actually come out of my mouth at some point. On top of that, I just don't understand whyyy guys think pick up lines are a good idea?
  • No, it did not hurt when I fell from heaven. Because I didn't?
  • Uh, the alphabet is JUST fine how it is. Do not put "u" and "i" together. Beyond that, "u" is a letter. Which is different from "you". That's one is just uneducated
  • If I were a booger, you would pick me first? Well, you started off real well, comparing me to a booger. Second, the first thing you are going to tell me is that you pick your nose? That's attractive
  • Did you really just scrape your knee "falling for me"? Because I'm pretty sure that's a lie... and I don't date liars
  • Asking me "How it feels to be the most beautiful girl in the room?" is ridiculous. I think you are lying (please see above logic) and a compliment like a normal person would work just fine. "I think you are beautiful" would make more of an impression than the former question
TALK TO ME LIKE I AM A PERSON. Not some dumb girl you need to con into talking to you. So simple. Jeez. 

OK, I am getting to the good part, I promise. The best thing to come out of the midnight apartment quake of 2011 is this gem I found via facebook. Every now and then, a youtube video of some creative proposal starts to go viral. I usually refrain from re-posting because I don't want to come across as having wedding fever or pressure to get my own proposal or any other crazy thoughts, but this one is the best. I couldn't NOT share it.

Jamin (part of Marvels Dance Company) decided to propose to his girlfriend (Val) of five and a half years. I know we all saw that adorable proposal of the guy who made a "movie trailer" as part of his proposal to his girlfriend. Super cute, super creative... only thing that ruined it for me was when I found out they had only been dating for four months. I know, judgmental. But I think marriage is HUGE. To me, you can't possible know something like that in four months.

I watched this video four times (maybe more, but I'm only going to admit to four). Once to watch it, another time to watch her reaction, another time to watch the dancing and one more because I am a sap.

What makes this video so awesome?
  1. It's done in Downtown Disney
  2. It's done to the song "Marry You" by Bruno Mars (melt)
  3. There's dancing. Like, really ridiculously awesome dancing
  4. She has no idea
  5. Boy has got MOVESSS. Shoooot.
  6. There's a video of her reaction and everything that is going on
This is a real-life proposal that is better than some proposals they do in MOVIES (and light-years better than the one they did in "The Back-Up Plan". Gosh, that movie is awful). So many congrats to Jamin (and major props too!!!) and his future wifey, Val. Best of luck to you both and thank you for sharing this video with us all.

Leave comments and love if you so feel. Happy Wednesday everyone- we are HALFWAY to the weekend (yay)!!
ps. Halloween costume anyone?

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I make awesome velociraptor noises

Currently: having ridiculous flashbacks and college cravings. It’s the perfect October day… slight drizzle, cool enough to bust out the Uggs, but not so freezing that you need the coat that turns your tiny physique into a sausage. I mean, that’s what I blame the appearance of my winter blubber on… don’t worry, it’s the coat. It has nothing to do with the ten pounds of see’s candy I ate and washed down with two haageen daaz bars. Psh, stupid winter coat. Makes me look like a WHALE”. 

ANYWAYS. I’m currently sitting in Mishka's surrounded by dutiful college students hammering away on their laptops and highlighting their textbooks. And I miss it… I never really thought I would. While everyone lectured me to “enjoy” my college years, all I could do was YEARN for the days when I was out of college. I just assumed that if I was out of college, I would have life figured out. I would clearly be the head dolphin trainer, with the luxury of holidays and nights off, and of course some time and money to travel. Yet, I’m out of college and not a CLUE with what I’m doing. This thing called life seems to own me, taking my life one way and another, in paths I never expected. 

Back in college, the biggest troubles were those of facebook gossip (ohmigosh, why is he with her?!?), dinner obstacles (how many more days can I survive on peanut-butter-and-jelly-saltine-sandwiches?), and the ever present pressure of academics (how am I going to stretch this essay into ten more pages?). I honestly thought they were the biggest troubles in the world. Now, I’m facing very adult problems… car payments, job hunting, making rent, and oh yeah… still don’t know what I’m doing with my life. 

ON A MORE FUN NOTE, YAYYYYYY!!!!! Fall (aka, decent) TV shows are back. One of the biggest hypes of the season was for the show Terra Nova. It is a) directed by Steven Spielberg AND b)ridiculously over budget. For the full scope that is WAYY better than I could ever replicate, watch a 2 minute clip here. I promise it’s worth it. 

To commemorate the pilot of the show, John and I quizzed each other on our favorite dinosaurs. As a true FRIENDS fanatic, I quoted the velociraptor as my favorite. When John need clarification, I did this: 

No joke. With the noise and motions and everything. 

Our upstairs neighbors have a different method of celebrating the release of Terra Nova. They decided to act like dinosaurs and stomp around their apartment like overweight T-Rexes. I swear, the glasses shake and every step looks like this scene from Jurassic Park.

John is not bothered by this at all. He claims that I do the EXACT. SAME. THING. I beg to differ. I am a tiny, petite woman. The upstairs neighbors seem to be harboring a couple of the largest land carnivores of all time. 

My judgement of Terra Nova? (I know this must be the most well-organized blog post ever. I swear, I graduated from college. WITH a minor in English, mind you). It’s… pretty good. With a two hour pilot, excellent dinosaur scenes, and lots of action, it just felt like a movie that didn’t have a complete ending. Minus two very gross bug scenes, I enjoyed the show. I will be watching it again, not alone of course (someone has to tell me when it is safe to look at the screen again). If you want to catch it, you can watch it for free here

That’s all for today minions!! Thanks for reading. Leave some comments if you are feeling generous. Pretty sure I have like ONE reader (hey Carly!!!). Have a fantastic week :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Warning: this post contains TWO country songs. Do not complain, you have been warned. 

Do you ever hear a song and at first it’s just a pretty melody... Then you hear the lyrics. And all of a sudden it is YOUR song. This is YOUR life in a song, with (usually) a much better vocalist. Well that feeling happens to me a lot. Like there are at least ten songs out there that I claim are “my” songs. But this one has been on my mind lately, especially considering some pretty personal events that have... transpired lately. 

First off, I talk way too much for comfort. Unless it’s awkward silence… then I like to bask in it… and add lots of …  …  … sooooo yeahhhhh… [insert your favorite awkward animal motion here]. I’m sure you’ve realized this from the outrageous length of my posts, as well as my super annoying tangents. 

OK! SO! “My” song of the moment is… Unapologize by Carrie Underwood. My life is a series of events of word vomit. In high school, I confronted my crush and laid it all on the line. It went something like “Um, I like you. I thought you liked me? How come you never asked me out?” Ahaha, oh yeah, I am dead serious. That’s attractive, right? Nothing has really changed, and the result? I speak without thinking. LOTS of ... Awkward turtle. The first time I said “I love you” was followed by total and complete stutters, a long awkward stare, and feelings of “oh shoot! What?? I mean, uh I take it back?” 

My biggest fear is that I’m going to look back on life and be filled with regret. Of the things I didn’t do when I had the chance, but more so… the things I never said. My high school story has a point. It’s easy (well easier) to tell someone that you like them… but how do you tell a friend something that you don’t like about them?  Whether it is an action, something they said, or maybe a girlfriend or boyfriend? Well if it’s a wedding you aim to break up, my bff Taylor Swift has the perfect words to SPEAK NOW :) And yes that tangent was done specifically to include TS into my blog. That, and I think it is the perfect follow up song to Carrie’s.

Until next time minions. Have a great day, love you all!  

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My first spin class

Well at least one thing can be said… I sure am getting use out of my gym. I tried to go for a work out that was more my speed… a spin class. My dad got me into mountain biking early on, and my childhood memories are full of weekend mornings spent on the trails, biking through the canyons of Orange County. However, my biking experience since childhood has been racing to class on the very flat terrain of Davis and the daily six mile ride through Paolo Valley to get to my Dolphin Quest internship. Nothing outrageous or too intense. Whatever, no excuse NOT to be healthy right? I boldly went to my first spin class last week. And yes, I remembered water this time. 

I showed up to class fifteen minutes early (because yeah, I’m that girl. I’m going to go ahead and blame my mother and Matthew Goldberg for this overwhelming mentality of “early is on time, and on time is LATE that I still cling to). I played around with my stationary bike, which is nothing like those digitalized bikes you see next to the treadmills at normal gyms. There are about six more nobs and things to adjust. What. The heck. It’s just a bike, right?!

As the bike screeched and screamed while I tried to lower the seat to an acceptable level, the instructor came over, introduced herself, and then began to quiz me on my biking experience and purpose of my attendance. I stuttered out something like “uhh… I hear it’s a great work out??” Way to be assertive Jaquielyn! 

Her piece of advice for the bike? “Oh, it should just feel right”. I don’t really know what “right” is… but ok.
Ten minutes into the class and I could have sworn I was dying. My body released sweat from every pore and I felt like I was in a polyester cheer uniform melting in the Irvine heat. I think my hearing went out, and white spots came in and out of my vision. That’s normal, right? Now, the worst part was that my bike no longer felt “right”. My butt was in this awful position on the seat, and every push of the petal made me cringe in pain. I don’t know if you’ve ever been on a stationary spin bike, but it is NOTHING like a mountain bike. On a mountain bike, you can stand up, stop pedaling, and the gears will keep turning while the pedals stay glued to your feet. On a stationary bike, you stop pedaling? You better say goodbye to your knees because those pedals are going with or without your consent. I’m kind of stupid sometimes, so I tried at least six times to stand up and adjust my seating, only to be shocked with the bike’s nasty reminder “Pedal fatty!!”

Forty five minutes later, my knee felt like it was on fire, my bum was in serious pain, and my lungs seemed to be half their size. And I loved it. Minus the instructor’s terrible music choice (songs from the 70’s like… nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbyeeee. Great for football games, not so much for a workout). The instructor decided to end by announcing to the entire class that this was my first spin class. Everyone applauded, and the whole gym turned around to see who the noob was. I awkwardly waved and made the awkward turtle motion. So awkward. 

End result: SUCCESS! I loved it! I will be back for more, with a different instructor and hopefully a better music selection. I loved the intensity… even if I died a little. 

This would not have been a blimp in my mind if it weren’t for my good friend Jenny Lofaro. Jenny is a beast. A triathlete, fish kitchen speedster, and one of my rocks and sounding board during our six month stint for the Dolphin Quest Internship. When Haru and I would drive home (which involved going over Diamond Head), Jenny opted to BIKE home... and would beat us there. She is unstoppable. I just had to give a shout out, showcase her kick-ass-ness, and thank her for inspiring me to give spin class a try.

Have a great Monday guys. Thanks for reading, feel free to leave some comments J

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Yogis. And stupid headstands

In high school, coaches, teachers and friends all told me that I desperately needed yoga in my life. Something that would force me to calm down for an hour. I was (and still am) an extreme stress case. Full speed is the ONLY speed, yaknow?!??

So when “Health and Wellness Week” in college offered a free yoga class, I took it. Let me tell you: it was a joke. As a cheerleader for ten years, I am more flexible than most… so while the girls (and guy) next to me grunted and moaned through the stretches, I was bored. On top of that, the instructor had us line our mats in a circle (“like the never ending beautiful circle of life”, she emphasized). During the more challenging stretches, someone’s face was always awkwardly close to my body. No thank you. 

Combine that with the instructor’s way-too-hippie instructions, such as “Lower your body to mother earth and really inhale the exquisite smells of nature. Allow yourself to be one with the dirt”. Woman, we are in a carpeted conference room with florescent lights. I cynically thought. The closest thing to nature we have is the wood conference table.   It was NOT an event that I wanted to “re-experience” **(credit to Michelle Claudio, for the best saying ever). 

BUT I am a believer in second chances and redemption… so I gave yoga another shot. I dutifully give pay $65 bucks/month to the best climbing gym ever, and I wanted to take advantage of my very expensive membership. I’m back into the “I’m-going-to work-out-EVERY DAY… except maybe the days I don’t feel like it” swing of things, and yoga was a good excuse for NOT running. 

Mistake #1: If yoga was anything like my first class, I wasn’t going to need a water bottle.” Psh, this is going to be CAKEEEE”, one of my most arrogant thoughts EVER. Boy, was I wrong. Please note: water is needed for yoga. Or for any other class offered at a GYM. Duh.  

Mistake #2: Not bringing a partner. The instructor paired us up for massages. The husband and wife, the two best friends…and me. This left me with the instructor. He massaged me (and by massage, I mean shoved his skull into my lower back and tried a new form of physical torture: deep tissue massage), and then I had to return the favor and massage his 65-year old body. Uhhhh yeah….

Mistake #3: Not bringing ANYONE. Everyone left the class and the instructor sat down with me to have a deep talk for half an hour regarding my career and not being afraid and happiness and stars aligning and my Leo sun by my Venus moon and my detail-oriented nature and putting myself first and how God doesn’t exist, but we should all subscribe to astrology. And by “talk” I mean… lecture. I said nothing and tried to politely smile as my body cried for water. 

I don’t want to be misleading… the class didn’t start bad. It was fine; the instructor looked like Doc Brown’s clone, and I enjoyed the deep breathing and forced relaxation. The room was warm (thank you Sacramento for the Africa heat and Pipeworks for not believing in air conditioning), but not unbearable. The exercises were more like deep stretches that I haven’t enjoyed since high school.  

And then the head stand… We were in our head stands, breathing deeply, and focusing on our thyroid gland or something, but all I could think about was the blood rushing to my head. It didn’t help that it got 100 degrees HOTTER in the room and I was sweating from all pores.  We were given the instructions to very very slowly, slowly SLOWLY lower our hips back onto the ground, concentrating on one vertebrae at a time. I was focusing, but before I knew it… WHAM!!!!! Dust fell from the ceiling and the walls shook as my hips defiantly came back down to mother earth. Since there were only five of us in class, it was pretty easy to figure out who had caused the earth shake. Talk about embarrassing

The last part of class had us in dead corpse pose. Which would totally be a dead corpse, except I had to focus extra hard to make my heels touch. And if I were a dead corpse, my position of choice would be on my stomach, with arms and legs flailed to the side. With drool coming out. Yeah. Take that, yoga! 

ANYWAYS, he had us focus on relaxing by giving us imaginative descriptions of our bodies… “Picture your feet just melttinngggg awayyyyy….” While he did this, all I could see was a cartoon version of myself slowly being erased, from the bottom up. Eventually our whole body became erased and I envisioned myself as just a floating head. What a creepy way to end class, Doc.

So that's my yoga story. As a treat for making it through my rant, here is a prank video (because I love being on the other side of a good prank). If you haven't seen the New York Grand Central Freeze, here it is :) Enjoy... oh, and Happy Monday!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

my Napoleon complex

I live life like it is a movie.

No joke. I believe in meet-cute(s), friendships that never end, true love… and selfless good deeds (well, as selfless as they can be. As Joey Tribbiani* says, no good deed is ever selfless because it makes YOU feel good).
*uh, YES this blog is going to be filled with references to “Friends”, “How I Met Your Mother”, and every chick flick under the sun. Except “The Back-Up Plan”. That movie suckssss. That rant is for another post… 

SO anyways, a couple weeks ago I was back in the WASP bubble of Roseville (it’s pretty much the next Orange County). At the mall and I overhear “Oh no, someone should stop that”. I brush it off, and turn the corner… and there is a HUGE crowd. A silent crowd. I follow the crowd’s stare to a pimply teenage boy beating the crap out of another boy on the floor. He has the boy pinned to the ground and the thump, thump, THUMP of every single punch to this guy’s chest was deafening. It was awful, to say the least.
Now, since I live life like a movie… someone, anyone, a faceless hero from the crowd was bound to step forward and stop this. But no one did, everyone just continued to stand there SILENTLY. I was shocked. Half furious, half not-thinking-at-ALL, I dropped my bags and ran towards the boys. “Psh, these are teenage BOYS,” I thought to myself “I am totally stronger than them.” Now, I know some of you may be laughing at this point, but hey now! I used to be a cheerleader. We lift people, not weights. I’m stronger (and mightier) than I look. 

… As it turns out, angry teenage boys full of testosterone are a wee bit stronger than I expected. What I thought would be an easy YANK! was just a sad attempt to slow down the boy’s punching arm. Thank GOD two burly dads stepped forward and had the bully off the kid and in some sort of choke hold with one swift motion. “CALM DOWN!!!!” screamed burly dad “STOP THIS AND CALM! DOWN!” 

The security guards (super useless, and not to mention about five minutes too late) came rushing forward, no doubt feeling super important with their shiny badges and radio (that’s the extent of their equipment. Really?). Now comes my favorite part… The security guard asked the dad “sir, what happened with your son?” The burly dad steps away and says “I don’t know who this kid is. I’m not his dad or related to him in any way.”

Thank goodness for both dads… and for their wives, urging them to do SOMETHING. 

OK. So in my quest to find a picture for today’s post, I typed in “bully”. Apparently it is some sort of video game, because that’s what all the pictures came up as. Okkkayyy. Two of my least favorite things then: video games and bullying.

 And to leave on a good note, today Ben and Jerry's is releasing a new ice cream flavor... "Schweddy Balls". Which I find hilarious. For those of you not yet familiar with this nod to SNL... enjoy. 

Alright, I'm a noob and can't figure out how to put a video from hulu on here. So click here to watch Alec Baldwin and his schweddy balls :)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

extra clean or extra stupid?

Around once a day, I am startled by the sound of a football hitting the windows. Usually, I look up just in time to see some confused bird flying away.

When it used to be the little sparrows and tiny birds, I would feel bad. They would chirp around on the ground and take a 15 minute recovery period. But lately, it has been the big scary looking crows from those Windex commercials. And they do not just lightly tap the window... it always sounds as though Peyton Manning* is throwing a 50 yard pass... to me. Through the window. I'm pretty sure one of these days a bird is ACTUALLY going to come through the window and it is going to be my worst day of work.

*Football reference?? Wooo, look at me go!

I used to think that maybe the windows here are just extra clean, but maybe the birds here are just extra stupid? 

Anyways, I just wanted to thank you all for showing me such gracious support as I start this blog. I watched the little "overview" feed yesterday (because let's face it, I'm the most impatient person ever and wanted to see who would comment and I could not waitanothersecond!!!), and my blog got 95 views! That is more than I ever expected and I am blown away by everyone's support. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Pleasseee feel free to leave comments, and any suggestions you may have for WHAT the heck I should write about. Someone told me that I need to blog every day if I ever want any kind of following or whatever, and that I also need pictures. However, writing every day gives the allusion that I have some sort of exciting life... And while writing about birds flying into the windows at work may be entertaining for one day, I don't know how much more exciting it is going to get. Is that sad? Don't answer that.

So. Comments. Suggestions. Love.

And so much gratitude towards you all. Until tomorrow minions.

Ps. If you haven't figured it out, I have dubbed you all "minions". Because a) it is taken from one of my favorite writers and b) it reminds me of "Despicable Me". That's the movie with the minions, right? I guess I should understand my own reference first.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

the TS concert

The experience.
Three years ago, a not-so- random song prompted me to research some blonde country singer. I had heard of this “Taylor Swift” before, but I had thought of her as a beautiful teenager who would have a brief 15 minutes of fame before dying out like many country-pop tweens. I secretly played and re-played “Love Story”, humming it under my breath and singing full out in the shower until I knew every line of the song. From then on, I was hooked. 

One month later, on a first date with a handsome man, he asked me what kind of music I liked. Bashfully, I admitted that I had just started to get into Taylor Swift and I was a sucker for her Romeo and Juliette re-write. On our next date, he showed up 20 minutes late (don’t worry, there is a good reason).  Instead of apologizing, he slyly smiled as he pushed “play” on his CD player and Taylor’s voice filled the car. “A CD,” he said “so we can listen to her together”. 

As I fell in love for the first time, Taylor’s songs were more than just some blonde girl’s claim to fame… there were words from my diary, from my own personal story. Every perfect date, every heart wrenching moment of doubt, every twist and turn of my love life was right there on the radio. 

I know it seems ridiculous that a 24 year old woman shares the same music interest as someone half my age, but I can’t help it. Taylor has been so involved in the most important relationship of my life- if her success is indicative of my romantic success; than I hope she NEVER stops singing. 

Finally, at the concert this weekend (eight months of anticipation and excitement building towards ONE night) - I cried through the first two songs. I’m slightly more than embarrassed to admit this (but c’mon, you guys are all my closest family and friends). It was all too much- watching her LIVE singing about falling in love and the wondrous joy of being with someone who just gets you, with the man who made it all possible standing right next to me… I lost it. I’m a sap, what can I say.

The Deets.
                So, like a friend once said (shout-out to Cece, possibly the only other friend who rivals my level of dedication as a “Swiftie”), “it was clearly one of those nights you’ll remember forever”. The show was AMAZING. Totally above and beyond the clich├ęd Avril concert I went to (yeah, I liked to pretend I was an angst-ridden teen too)- it was more than a concert, it was a SHOW. 

She opened with "Sparks Fly" (which I dragged John in a full out SPRINT to our seats), complete with sparks flying from two acrobats that were spinning, twisting and turning twenty feet over the stage. Ballerinas took the stage as Taylor sang in the background for “Enchanted” (probably my favorite entertainment of the night- the choreography was breathtaking). She played the ukulele for an acoustic version of “Fearless” on a rotating stage away from the rest of her band. Fireworks lit the stage as she sang “Dear John” (“I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town") - I jumped and screamed with everyone.
For the last song, she played “Long Live”- she brought out just her band and I felt like I knew them all. I screamed and screamed, and when she said “Sacramento, I want to see you jump!!” The only question was “HOW HIGH, TAYLOR?!?” and I jumped up and down with the fourteen year olds next to me. John of course, just tried to survive the concert. 

She finished with an encore performance of “Love Story”, which I sang full out and screamed my heart out. Taylor stepped onto a balcony which floated over the audience, and blew kisses to her “Swifties”. The curtains closed and the concert was over.  It was without a doubt, an unforgettable night. While John apologized and apologized for such “awful” seats, I just smiled ear-to-ear. I felt like the luckiest girl ever (who else can say their boyfriend took them to a Taylor Swift concert? Not many). We could have had the worst seats in the world (which we didn’t) and I would still feel like I was on cloud 9. 

Of course I would be regretful if I did not thank Patty and Dave Raney for the extra ticket… and for raising such a wonderful son that I am so madly in love with. 

And last but not least, thank you to my awesome boyfriend. Thank you for standing in an hour long line so I could get my concert t-shirt, holding my purse when I had to pee, for not getting mad when we wandered the parking lot for 45 minutes after I (incorrectly) made navigation decisions, for taking videos and pictures during the concert so I could soak in the moment, and for making so many of my dreams come true (T-Swift concert included). You totally earned 47,309,875 bonus points.