Summer Adventures: My 25th Birthday

I’m going to be honest- on the morning of my birthday, all I wanted to do is throw myself a party. A pity party. I was in a city of untrustworthy people who refused to help unless it had big $$$ attached, in a place that was worlds apart from what I had imagined. I rationalized that it was MY birthday and if I wanted to wallow in the hotel room with A/C and English movies, then so be it.

However, Emma had other plans. Better plans, might I add. If we had  done MY plan, we would have missed out on what was an incredible day (one of my favorites of the trip).

She got dressed and sat there, ready to go, while I dallied around  with what outfit to wear, dragging my feet everywhere (yes, I’m sure I was a REAL joy at this point). When we finally left, we were met with the blazing sun and the city’s dirt and grime only amplified by the light of day. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of pickled fruits, pungent body odor, and the overwhelming stench of sewer. I yearned for the comfort of A/C again. Somehow, we found our way to Patong Beach.

Public bus to Patong Beach, taken by the Japanese tourists

On the bus, we met Japanese tourists (Emma got to practice her Japanese) AND a girl from Auburn, California. When we arrived, we saw a sight for sore eyes: Burger King. I don’t think I had seen one since I left America and BK is Emma’s all time favorite fast food.
Naturally, we had lunch there.

The day unfolded quite well after that, we managed to book an elephant  trekking trip for later that day (we dropped the “But it’s my birthdayyyy” line for discounts as much as possible), a lady boy show for that evening, and a day trip to Phang-nga for the next day. Add in a CRAP LOAD of shopping- I went a bit overboard, using the “it’s my birthday” line as my excuse.

Me, Jack, Doo-doo and Emma.

Elephant trekking was incredible. I could drown on and on about how amazing it was, but I’m sure the pictures speak for themselves. I was quite certain that Emma or I or both of us would fall off the bench at some point in the ride. Fresh sunscreen, leather seats, and the blazing sun make for a mini-swimming pool under your legs. We slid around, at the mercy of Ryo-ryo (or Doo-doo if you want to be a ridiculous tourist like me). It wasn’t until we were headed back to the loading docks that Jack (our elephant wrangler/trainer) said “Oh shoot, I forgot about your safety belt!” and threw us a rope to tie us into the seats. Nice.

Sans the safety belt

The lady boy show left me speechless and gasping for air. No, not  because I was in awe at the incredible talent and choreography, but rather because I was amazed by the fact that “dancers” (yes,
quotations were necessary for that word) make a living off these shows AND THAT I WAS ONE OF THE PUTZES who paid for a ticket. Pretty sure me, and six other of the least musically and dance inclined people would have put on a better show. Half the “dancers” had a dead-pan face (or a “I- would- rather- be- plucked- hairless- than- be- HERE” pained expression on their face) and the other half decided to give their middle finger to the choreography and just made up their own dance on the spot. The costumes and backdrops were elaborate… the ladyboys were not. It was entertainment in itself, butttt not for the reasons you would expect. Best ab work out I’ve ever gotten.

In the lobby of the Ladyboy show

We ended the night with bags of stuff, sore stomachs, a sunburn, and amazing pictures. The cherry on top? McDonald’s was delivered to our hotel and we had a wine cooler to celebrate my 25th year in existence. Pretty amazing birthday, indeed.

Happy 25th to me!