Summer Adventures: The Bachelorette Date

After the ladyboy show and gorging ourselves on McDonald’s, we woke early the next morning for a day trip to James Bond Island. Had no idea what that was all about, except for the fact that some James Bond movie was filmed there (big surprise, right? Apparently it was The Man with the Golden Gun). All I knew was that it was in a place called “Koh Phang-nga” and Emma and I got a kick out of trying to pronounce that.

   

We groggily went through the motions of loading a bus, than a boat, making a note of the most annoying tourists joining us (the winners for this trip by far went to an obese German family) along the way, and laughing about the whole thing.

Bachelorette fantasy date. Yes, I feel shame in knowing this

The boat took off… and I realized “ohhh crap, this is IT!!!! THIS is the Bachelorette place!!!”. It was finally happening, and I was finally in that picturesque place I had been watching Ashley Herbet go on all those dates. The water was a gorgeous green color and the weather couldn’t have been better (a bit overcast, perfect for pictures). The skyline was scattered with impressive rock formations, it was impossible to be disappointed with the scenery. It was exactly what I had pictured when I heard “Phuket” so many months ago, while Emma and I stressed over vacation details, city destinations, and finicky Air Asia prices.

The map of our day's journey

We had four islands to hop around. We were lectured on how to store our valuables, the maximum passengers in a canoe (it was a max of three, but you better believe that the German family tried to squish all FIVE of them on one floatie). We were assigned a “guide”, who would paddle us through the caves and lagoons. Uhhhh what?!? CAVES?!? Emma and I exchanged panicked looks. Both of us are not so great with being submerged into darkness. IN CAVES. 

pre-cave jitters. Jack took the time to paddle us directly under some bats

coming out of the caves

We hopped in the inflated canoe and met our guide, Jack. Emma gave me her usual “I’m really bad at getting on and off boats” speech (which is complete crap, by the way). Anndd we were off! We laid down to prevent head scrape-age from the caves (which got blindingly dark and made me laugh nervously while Emma held off a panic attack) and then the caves opened up to reveal some of the most breathtaking sights I have ever seen. We were surrounded by a circular wall of cascading vines and leaves and trees. Cries from birds, monkeys, and stupid tourists echoed in the lagoons. My neck hurt from constantly peering at the ginormous limestone creations around us. It. Was. EPIC.

 Jack kept pointing out rock formations in the shapes of piranhas, elephants, monkeys, and people to me… but I couldn’t understand a word he said. He gave up on trying to pronounce my name and settled on calling me “Lady”. For the rest of the trip, it was “Hey lady, look!” “Hey lady!!!!” “Lady, jadkel helklwh pwinnfg” Yes, pretty sure he said that verbatim to me.

We (and by “we”, I mean Jack. Emma and I sat like princesses on the canoe, not having to do anything but snap pictures and take it all in) canoed around 2 islands. One of the other islands was the infamous James Bond island (haven’t seen the movie, so none of it had a huge HOLLYWOOD significance to me), and at the other island, we were given the option to swim. We swam around, and then got the canoe from Jack to paddle around it. It was all fine and dandy until we spotted a giant jellyfish… and that was enough for us. 

The man with the Golden Gun

Ok, we knew at least THIS much

Jellyfish beach... and Jack

 When Phuket came up so many months ago, my voiced filled with excitement. “YES!!! We HAVE to go to Phuket”. Emma shrugged and said “Uh really?!? It’s not all that great…” Pretty sure Phuket made the list on the sheer basis that I watch trashy TV and had no idea of what Phuket legitimately was. I now understand Emma’s hesitation, but I am so grateful we dropped the money for a day trip. It ended up being one of my favorite memories from the trip… and it was everything the Bachelorette portrayed it to be (sans my own handsome man feeding me strawberries).  

Ashley's bachelorette date in Phang-nga