Summer Adventures: Leaving Paradise and the Journey from HELL

                So the whole reasoning and timing of our arrival in Koh Phang-an was for the notorious FULL MOON PARTY. Emma couldn’t be more excited and she raved insane reviews of last year’s events. Annd on the morning of the Full Moon Party, my dear travel partner woke with a nasty stomach virus. Not to be taken down by some silly urge to throw up every minute, Emma painted her body in the customary neon paint. We geared up to face the crowds, but I had NOOO idea what kind of “crowds” we were in for. 

No stomach virus brings down EMMA JACKSON!

                The beach was packed as if never before. Literally, wall-to-wall with people. I was used as a stepping stone for a 300 pound (sweaty, tub of lard) man. I was used as a steadying post for many drunken passer-byers. I was used as a towel for people to wipe their dirty, grimy hands on. After about .02 seconds of this madness, I was over it. I was disgusted by the amount of people (I couldn’t get fresh oxygen), and wanted to make it all go away. Unfortunately, our hotel required a trek across the beach. There literally was no other way. Even more unfortunately, the beach was SO PACKED that we were forced down to the shoreline. About two feet into the ocean, men were spaced three feet apart. All facing the same direction… and all of them were urinating. For miles, you could see them staggered out. Not to say that girls weren’t doing the exact same thing. Uhhh yeah, time to go home. And then… the most horrific thing happened. A wave washed on my feet and I screamed a blood curling hyena cry. People probably thought I was being stabbed. I turned to Emma and yelled “Well, my feet just got washed in TOILET!!!”

                Gross. Over it. And I, for one, do NOT recommend the FULL MOON PARTY. 

Remnants of neon paint still on my body

  We spent the next day recovering from the emotional trauma and planning our travels to the next destination: Phuket. We would be in Phuket for my birthday, and to be honest… it was more than exciting to me. You see, when I pictured what Phuket would be like, I saw Ashley the Bachelorette on her amazing dates with breathtaking views. I saw emerald seas and sandy beaches and picturesque cozy towns. 

What I didn’t see was being kicked off a bus at 11:30PM (our scheduled arrival was 7:30pm), into a dark, grimy, dirty alleyway with ladyboys who were trying to con us into the only lit building for miles. What I didn’t forsee was having NO TAXIS at this time of night and having no way to get to the hotel we pre-paid. What I didn’t see was a 15 hour journey (which should have taken maybe 10 hours) that ended in Emma and I BOTH fighting away tears and a MAJOR freak out session when two guys tried to get us into their unmarked “taxi”.

but imagine it at midnight

 But I’ve been told that I have the tendency to turn molehills into mountains, so I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as I am telling it. 

It ended up working out ok. We paid double the amount for a 7 minute taxi ride (in which I sat at attention, mentally noting our route and the major streets we were passing, just in case we needed to make a run for it) in order to have a female escort with us. No joke, Emma and I reviewed self-defense moves and where to hit/punch guys [all you need is Miss Congeniality... and to S.I.N.G.] before we got in the car. I also pointed out our whistles attached to our backpacks. 

After being told repeatedly by your roommates that “you will, in fact, be raped and/or murdered on this trip” for the past month, you start to feel a little nervous. Combine that with my father’s overprotective and paranoid nature and I. was. A. MESS. 

But we survived. Rape and murder free. And that was how we rang in midnight of my birthday.

Case of the Mondays: Scherbatsky the Avenger

Srsly. I heard Bob Saget's voice

Last week, Emma and I went to go see The Avengers. I liked it more than others... I sat there with a ridiculously big grin on my face and clapped/laughed/cheered shamlessly out LOUD while Emma took a nappy-nap through the loudest action scenes in the movie. Run-on sentence much? But really, Robin Scherbatsky on The Avengers? I didn't buy it.

SERIOUSLY

 I realize that is the second time in a row that my caption has said "Seriously". But honestly... we don't always agree on Politics. I've finally had to hide some people from my newsfeed because of the [how do I say this correctly?] nonsense they were posting. You're really not going to change anyone's views from freaking Facebook.

Can't blame him

My thoughts exactly.

 

 Some of you may know how much it pains me to post that ^ on my blog. But it is so funny, it had to be done

I totally do this

 Lastly...

 

To all the ALTs who are spending this week slaving over skits and student speeches, I feel yah. Happy Monday.

To all you stateside friends... Happy Sunday, you lucky duck you. And thanks for reading.

Summer Adventures: Koh Phang-an continued

The next couple days were paradise. We ate lunch on the beach, bathed in the crystal clear, perfectly lukewarm waters of the beach [only slight drawback: be careful of the sea lice!]. We found a restaurant that showed FRIENDS continuously (yep, our new favorite place), shopped till we dropped, met new friends, ran into old (ok, ran into ONE of Emma’s friends. But across the world and on a beach full of hundreds of people? That’s a pretty impressive find). They were glorious days. I think one of my favorite (if not THE favorite) experience was the boat trip we took.

new friends + Cat, Emma's friend from home

            We knew we wanted some sort of excursion, something that included lunch (obviously) and awesomeness. We booked the cheapest boat trip we could find and headed down to the beach early in the morning. After carrying our stuff above our head through four feet of water, we boarded the monster ship in the bay. We were treated to different beaches around the island, snorkeling (I will now fully disclose that I SUCK at treading water. This fact sometimes taints the first few moments of snorkeling in PANIC), authentic pad thai on the beach, sunbathing on Bottle Beach, and ended on a “hike” to the waterfall. Well, it’s not really a hike if you can do it in a bathing suit and flip flops, right? The trip was all-inclusive of bottled water, spirits, fresh fruit, and freshly cooked onion rings (best I’ve ever had). Also included: the most interesting gathering of people. There were the old couple (ok not OLD, but on an island of 20 year olds, it’s quite easy to be old there) who rudely shouted at the driver because she couldn’t understand him. There were the teachers on summer break (seemed to be most people’s story), and then there were the strippers moonlighting as synchronized swimmers. All made for a very entertaining day.

We're on a boat!

            It was an amazing day, but the waterfall was a bit of a letdown. When you’ve been treated to sights of Yosemite Falls for most of your life, other things just aren’t as impressive. They might as well of pushed two pebbles together, poured some water on THAT and called it a waterfall. Plus, the water was the murky pond of my nightmares. People hopped in without a care, while I was the lame tourists who sat on the rock and flicked the water with my big toe. On the hike back, I noticed a small wet brown thing stuck to a girl’s leg. I pointed it out to her, she flicked it off and immediately asked me “Do you think it was a leech?” Yeah, SUPER GLAD I didn’t get in.

Yosemite Falls has ruined my life.

            We spent the rest of the night on an epic quest for onion rings (courtesy of yours truly). We went to restaurant after restaurant looking for a batch of perfectly crispy and savory deep fried rings. Four restaurants later… we were there.

First onion ring place [fail]. Plus we were photobombed

 That's all for today! [ironically, that's the same line I use to end my classes when I teach]. I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of TIME it is going to take to blog all this. If this were someone else's blog, I'm not sure I would even read it. Buttt it's only day 3. Can't give up now, right?!

view of Haad Rin beach

Summer Adventures: Arrived in Thai Paradise

En route from Surat Thani airport to the ferry [bus ride]

View from the top deck of the ferry

It was an exhausting journey to get there, that’s for sure. A combination of taxis, boats, plane, and a full 14 hours finally landed us in Haad Rinn, Koh Phang-an island. We stepped off the ferry (which I did NOT yack on, thank goodness) and immediately were surrounded by 90 Thai locals shoving hotel flyers and taxi offerings in our face. We found one headed for Haad Rin beach and hopped in the back of a pick-up truck. 8 other tourists crammed in, they shoved our packs on the roof. Then we took a 20 minute death ride through streets that make San Francisco look like mild molehills. Minions, They. Were. INTENSE. I dreaded the moment that my precious red and white backpack would go tumbling down the vertical feat we were racing up. And the down part? Literally felt like a roller coaster. All of us clutched to the bars of the cab with white knuckles and a half-laugh/half-horrified expression.

I was positive this would be the last time I saw my backpack.

 Finally, it ended. No one’s backpack had been lost to Mount Everst (be warned, there are many “Mt. Everests” on this trip). But we were kicked out of the taxi in the middle of town, our hotel not for miles. Finding a hidden hotel up a mountain IN THE DARK was no easy task, especially for two girls who are not so fond of the dark. We nervously laughed our way through the trek, discussing FRIENDS, and the day-long excursion it took to get to this point. We were rewarded with a working fan and a room that would become our home for the next week. 

 Starved, exhausted, and bathed in my own sweat, we threw on the first pair of fresh clothes we could find and headed in for town (dinner! Dinner! DINNER! My stomach screamed). Without a 30 pound pack weighing me down, it was much easier to appreciate the fine, white sand and the lulling noise of gentle waves lapping the beach. The shore was littered with tables lit by candle light and soft reggae music serenading in the background. I was in heaven.

            We got to town and found our pick of restaurants. All I wanted was Pad Thai (not hard to find in THAILAND) so we plopped down at the first restaurant we saw that was showing the Olympics. Double win. Dinner was $3.00. And I didn’t even finish it. Ok, maybe I did, but I was STUFFED after.

First dinner in Thailand! Curry for Emma

Legit Pad Thai.

              Day 2: CHECK! Landed ourselves in Paradise. Nice call, Emma Jackson.

Summer Adventures: Kuala Lumpur

Kuala Lumpur was our first stop on the journey. We would only be there for a day, but we had ambitious plans. Since we had taken the red eye from Tokyo, we found ourselves walking through immigration before the sun came up. The plan was to head over to the Petronus Towers to score some free tickets before 8:30. After, we would drop our packs at the hotel and use the rest of the day to explore the Golden Triangle. Get in early for our flight to Surat Thani, Thailand the next day. 

NOPE. What happened instead: Frappucinos at 6am paired with groggy research in our guide book to figure out how to get to the city center of Kuala Lumpur. $3 and an uncomfortable bus ride later (we sat next to one of the stewardesses from our flight. Should tell you how well Air Asia pays), we arrived at the city center. We unsuccessfully tried to get into a cab (a very official looking man screamed “helloooo” to us. I murmured back “hi” while trying to wedge open a locked taxi door. Evidently “hellooo” really meant “You need to buy a voucher from the taxi stand inside the station before getting into a cab. Please and thank you… and also your hair looks very nice”). 

We decided to take our packs to the hotel (seemed like the logical thing to do instead of hauling all our stuff up the Petronus towers)… and then it spiraled from there. They allowed us to do an early check-in (after waiting at an impeccably clean swimming pool). The call of a soft, horizontal bed was too much. Combine that with the fact that the Olympics were on IN ENGLISH and we were useless. Cue: epic nap.

Six hours later, it was time to buck up and explore. I put on my  I’m-on-vacation highlighter pink shorts and headed out. Some facts…

•  Malaysia= Muslim country. Bright pink shorts? NOT MY BEST IDEA 
• Malaysia is divided into three separate cultures: Malay, Chinese, and Indian. We were clearly in the Indian section 
• Mosquitos will eat you aliveeeee 
• PINK SHORTS WERE A BAD IDEA!!!!! (cannot be said enough)

After being in Japan for four months, I grew used to gathering some lingering looks and awkward glances. But man, Malaysians know how to STARE and GLARE and in general make you feel really really awkward. I looked around frantically for other tourists. It felt like we were the only foreigners around, and the locals certainly treated us like we were the only foreigners around. 

The aforementioned "Golden Triangle"

 I pictured the Golden Circle to be a tourist spot (since, well, that’s what all the websites and travel books claimed). Instead, we ran into school children, taxi drivers, businessmen, street vendors, city locals… but no tourists. The city was dirty, unkempt, full of people who shamelessly stared us down and yelled things at us (some in English, some not). We walked around, trying to be optimistic and getting a cultural feel for the place. We sweated and walked and sweated and walked. 

Showing my shoulders and knees in 95 degree weather?!? ATROCIOUS.

 Finally, we found… air conditioning. [I know I should feel embarrassed about this next part, but I’m not. I was tired, hungry, sick of being stared at like the world’s first creature from Neptune, and I was a whole lot of culture shocked] We found a mall. A glorious, pristine, clean, air-conditioned mall with minimal amounts of staring. We might have seen a movie. Maybe it was Batman. Before you judge me completely, let me say that the movies there costs less than $3 USD. Large popcorn and drink? $1.50. Japan’s going rate for a movie? Around $23 USD. 

And THAT was our first day of the trip. More comfy bed, more Olympics, and less KL. For now.

I may or may not have packed things in Ziploc bags... Monica Bing style

Miss me?

Sigh. That’s a happy sigh, in case you’re wondering.

I’m back. We’re all back, actually. The apartment is overflowing with life and full of noise. Constant beeps from the microwave or the fridge. The background noise of tv. Laughter, playful bickering has been restored. And I can breathe easy.

You guys, this summer was amazing. It was breathtaking and exciting and all around memorable. When we booked a trip that spanned over three countries in four weeks, Robert immediately told us we were crazy. My fellow teachers told me we were crazy. I started to think it was crazy… Four weeks without my funny dog and shopping bear bed spread? INSANE. What it ended up being was insanely genius. The four weeks allowed us to take our time, take a day for reading in bed with air conditioning and the TV blasting if we needed it (which we sometimes did). We didn’t feel guilty for sleeping in or scheduling an impromptu day dedicated to shopping or shuffling things around at the last minute.

But let’s start at the beginning. Back when I barely knew Emma and she barely knew me. To me, she was the cute British girl that my boyfriend had taken an interest in (“She works in Iruma! She’s normal! She has an accent! She’s really nice! She’s sweet! I’m going to help her order a chair! She’s really nice!”). And to her, I was some random California girl living with two boys. To see what all the fuss was about, we met up over donuts one fateful day. We ended up spending three hours discussing the glory of deep fried food and the fact that corn IS a vegetable (and the BEST vegetable at that). We bonded over a deep seeded FRIENDS obsession (which was and continues to be a vehicle for hour long discussions), and ended on our love for travel and the need to go somewhere, anywhere this summer. That was all I needed to hear before forcing her to commit to being my travel partner. She really had no choice. “You want to travel? I want to travel! Sweet, let’s travel together!! And now just sign your name on the dotted line…”  Me: queen of awkward moments.

Much like living together, I think traveling is something that either makes or breaks friendships. A lot of unexpected things happen when you travel, and how you handle those situations will tell you a lot about a person. Needless to say, traveling with Emma MADE our friendship. She took a 20 minute train the other day so we could hang out because apparently, we don’t know how to function without each other after spending four weeks together.

I don’t know if all this rambling has a point except for the fact that Emma and I? We rock at traveling through Southeast Asia. On the second day of our trip, I turned to her and said “Uh my stomach is really sore… I have no idea why.” It wasn’t until I was rolling on the floor with laughter that I also yelped in pain. We laughed. All the freaking time. Things that made my blood boil and brewed a crazy hyped up rage-storm, Emma simply threw up her shoulders like “Well, what are you gonna do?” She would say something British and sarcastic and make me laugh…Hurricane Jaquielyn avoided.

It will take a while to blog the past four weeks, but it is definitely something I feel the need to do. If not for my six readers, than for me. To remember forever (unless I eventually delete and destroy this blog, like I did with my last blog. Yes, I regret it).

So I leave you with a sneak peek of our awesome times… and a video. Of Eunice.

We had good times.